Moms want and deserve time for themselves, yet their desire for self-care is deeply interwoven with a powerful need to ensure their children’s well-being. In fact, this tension is highlighted by the fact that 87.2% of moms say they prioritize knowing their children are safe when taking time for themselves. Despite this, for many, Mother’s Day still isn’t about celebrating them, it often centers around honoring their own mothers or mothers-in-law. As a result, moms are left craving a balance between “me time” and family time. However, they frequently struggle with guilt, yearning for a break from the mental load of motherhood, which includes the never-ending planning and decision-making. That’s why the best gifts are thoughtful and offer a true reprieve from daily responsibilities. On the flip side, the worst gifts tend to feel impersonal, or worse, like chores disguised as presents.
At the heart of it all, what moms really want is peace of mind and to feel genuinely appreciated.
Key findings:
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The majority of respondents (69%) were first-time moms, with 64% having one child. Additionally, 35% were celebrating their first Mother’s Day as a mom, while 65% were not.
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Many moms, especially first-timers, spend the day honoring their own mothers and Mother-In-Laws rather than celebrating themselves.
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91.3% of moms feel conflicted about taking time for themselves versus being present with their kids, with 49.5% feeling this tension more intensely on Mother’s Day.
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62% of moms feel under appreciated, with many frustrated that they have to plan their own celebration. More than a physical gift, they want a true break from responsibilities
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The most appreciated gifts are personal and thoughtful, like handwritten notes or a spa day. The worst include household chores disguised as presents or last-minute, impersonal gestures
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Peace of mind comes first, as 87.2% of moms prioritize their children’s safety, while staying connected and shifting their mindset about self-care also play important roles in their ability to enjoy time for themselves.
Moms Still Don’t Feel Like Mother’s Day is About Them
For many new and first-time moms, Mother’s Day isn’t truly their day—yet. Instead of being celebrated themselves, they find the focus remains on honoring their own mothers and mothers-in-law. Many shared that the day is still spent celebrating their mother and MIL rather than recognizing them as moms, with traditions centered around what the older generation wants to do. As one mom put it, “Mother’s Day hasn’t really evolved to being about myself and my kids just yet.” This surprising insight reveals that despite stepping into motherhood, many women still feel like they are in the background on a day meant to honor them.
Moms Want a Mix of “Me Time” and Family Time—But It’s Hard to Get Both
Motherhood is a constant balancing act, and Mother’s Day is no exception. Moms crave a break—whether it’s sleeping in, enjoying quiet time, or indulging in a solo spa day—but they also struggle with the idea of being away from their kids. The ideal Mother’s Day for many includes a morning to themselves, followed by quality time with their children and partner later in the day. One mom shared, “Morning to myself, afternoon with my babies. Best of both worlds.” Others dream of “a spa day, a nap, and a clean house I didn’t have to tidy.” The challenge? Finding a way to get both rest and togetherness without compromise.
The #1 Thing Moms Want is a Break from the Mental Load
Mother’s Day is meant to be a celebration, but for many moms, it still feels like just another day of managing responsibilities. In fact, 62% say they don’t feel appreciated enough, with the biggest frustration being that they have to plan their own celebration. What moms truly want is a break—from cooking, cleaning, decision-making, and the invisible labor that comes with running a household. A thoughtful meal prepared for them, a day without making decisions, or even a small gesture to feel seen can make all the difference. One mom expressed it best: “Not having to carry the mental load for one day.” Another shared, “I just want my coffee hot and my house clean without asking.” The ultimate wish? “One day where I don’t have to plan anything or clean up after anyone.”
The Best vs. Worst Mother’s Day Gifts Show a Clear Pattern
The best Mother’s Day gifts moms have received include a handwritten letter or homemade card, a full day off from responsibilities, a solo spa day or hotel night, and thoughtful experiences like brunch, a picnic, or a family outing. In contrast, the worst gifts tend to be no gift at all or a forgotten Mother’s Day, household chores disguised as gifts (like a vacuum or dish rack), and last-minute, impersonal presents such as gas station flowers or generic text messages.
Standout quotes reflecting the frustration with bad gifts include: “A dish drying rack… as if I need another reminder of my never-ending chores,” “A vacuum. I love a clean house, but seriously?” and “A ‘World’s Best Mom’ mug… that still had a clearance sticker on it.”
The Biggest Thing That Helps Moms Feel at Peace When Taking Time for Themselves
The biggest thing that helps moms feel at peace when taking time for themselves is knowing their kids are safe and well cared for, with 87.2% of moms citing this as key. Other factors include the ability to check in on their kids when they want (57.0%), reminding themselves that self-care makes them a better parent (69.2%), and planning ahead by setting expectations with their family (42.7%). Key takeaways show that peace of mind comes first, as 87.2% of moms prioritize their children’s safety, while staying connected and shifting their mindset about self-care also play important roles in their ability to enjoy time for themselves.
Mother’s Day is an emotional and nuanced holiday for moms. By understanding their desires and frustrations, Nanit can provide meaningful support, inspire better celebrations, and offer solutions that make moms feel truly seen and appreciated.
