As the holiday season rolls around, chances are you have a trip or three in your calendar in the weeks ahead. And holiday travel always brings with it its own version of magic…and stress: Busier-than-usual airports and roads. Complicated family dynamics. So many events and activities. It’s enough to make any parent want to hibernate until the hubbub dies down. And yet, there’s a lot to cherish this time of year as well.
So how to get where you need to go as easily as possible and make the most of the time there? We asked a few pros for their best tips on navigating the travel stress of the holidays and finding the season’s peace and joy.
Touch base with your partner early and problem solve as a team.
Before you get too deeply into the season, sit down with your partner and discuss upcoming holiday and travel plans. “It’s important for partners to stay on the same page and that’s really about sharing expectations and wishes ahead of time,” advises Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and author of I Didn't Sign Up For This: Stories of Unlocking Old Patterns and Finding Joy in Our Relationships. Do you want to spend one night or three at your in-law’s house? Would it feel more relaxed to book a hotel?
Once you’ve decided what feels best to you both, Dr. Dagleish recommends communicating plans to family as a united front, so no one person is to blame. “So, instead of one partner going to their parents and saying, ‘My wife doesn’t want to stay with you,’ which creates separation—my family vs. my partner— use language like, ‘What works best for our family is this.’” When you and your partner can think of yourselves as a team, it’s easier to validate each other’s needs and experiences and find solutions together.
Protect sleep routines.
Wherever you go, there should ideally be a lot about your child’s nap and bedtime routines that can go with you. Bathtime, stories, songs–they work at Grandma’s house, too! And maintaining that regular routine will help cue your child that it’s time to sleep even if it’s in a different bed. Anushka Salinas, Nanit’s CEO and mom of two, says a reliable sleep routine is one of her keys to easier travel with kids.
“Consistency of our sleep routine is super important. For us, it’s having great white noise and our monitor handy. When we travel, we bring the Sound + Light audio monitor. It’s really lightweight and battery operated and helps recreate the routine that we have at home.”
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Don’t expect perfection.
Another of Salinas’s travel tips? Embrace the chaos. “[Traveling with kids] is not going to be like it is when you travel by yourself or just with adults, so be prepared however you can,” she advises.
Maristella Lucchini, Nanit Lab’s Senior Clinical Researcher, agrees. “The truth is that no matter what you try to do [when you’re traveling with kids], the first couple of days will be messy.” Despite your best efforts and intentions, a nap may be missed, your kids may stay up later than their bedtime. But over time—either on the road or when you’re back home, depending on how long you’re gone—routines will settle back in and everyone will start to sleep again.
Plan activities for long plane or car rides.
Stocking up on things to do en route will make the miles…maybe not fly by, but go a lot more peacefully. Snacks are high on Salinas’s list of holiday essentials when traveling with a baby. Games like travel bingo or art supplies can be fun for toddlers. Lucie Fink, content creator and mom of two, loves to listen to the podcast Storytime With Tula Jane and her Mother in the Wild with her 3 year old on long car drives.
When it comes to online entertainment, download any movies/shows/music/audiobooks before your trip so spotty service (or WiFi that you have to pay for) doesn’t throw a wrench into everyone’s plans. And if your kids are old enough, let them be part of the planning. It’ll give them something else to look forward to about the trip and you’ll know they have activities they’ll enjoy.
Travel early in the day and/or plan around nap times.
Early travel means you’re less likely to have travel backups, with delayed or canceled flights leading to more delays…. And traffic is often better in the early morning. Also pay attention to weather, especially this time of year. And whenever Lucchini can, she tries to map out her travel plans around when her children usually sleep. “For example, I often travel to Italy where my family lives, so I book flights when we can sleep during the flight.” For drives, you might plan the largest part of your drive to happen during your child’s naps.
Decide where you need to draw boundaries and where you can be flexible.
Staying at someone else’s house often means trying to merge different schedules and plans. And with young kids, that can be tricky if, say, your parents’ big family dinners happen at 7 p.m.…which is your baby’s usual bedtime. “Ask yourself, What am I willing to be flexible on?” recommends Dr. Dalgleish, “And how can I accommodate us to get there? So for example, you might say to your mom, ‘I love that you want us to all be together, but 7 p.m. is our baby's bedtime. Would an earlier dinner be something you could do?’ It’s important to have those kinds of back-and-forth conversations and avoid an all-or-nothing approach which keeps us rigid and stuck.”
Allow for downtime.
Do you want to build a snowman? Sure! Do you want to go holiday shopping, then caroling, then cut out snowflakes, then make cookies? Maybe not so much? This time of year, there are always a million and one things to do–or that others want you to do–so keep yourself sane by choosing the events/traditions/moments that are the most meaningful or important to you and let the rest slide. You won’t stretch yourself and your kids too thin, and you’ll be able to better enjoy what you do participate in, making the special memories that the season is all about.
